Tuesday, March 2, 2010

History Repeats Itself

The other day at the bank, Lisa, my young and attractive bank officer was telling me how her mother had taken a fall, and while waiting for hip replacement, was confined in a hospital in the USA.

While Lisa was talking to me, I was watching her eyebrows and wondering how painful it must be for girls to undergo all that plucking. I was wondering how she would look if she let her eyebrows grow. Coming out of the trance, I looked up and brightly asked her: “Hey how’s your mom? Does she still live in Japan?”

Right! I was hearing her but I hadn’t been listening! I was physically present but spiritually gone. I was hearing her but I wasn’t listening. Listening requires engagement, comprehension, absorption, and processing while hearing is only a function of the ears.

We spend half of our waking time communicating with others and the other half listening. In school we are taught how to read, write, and recite, but have any of us spent time learning to listen fully? If we learned to listen with our heads and hearts, we’d be able to manage our time projects and plans much more efficiently.

Putting our heads and hearts together makes us not just attentive, but also watchful of our own input. Our partners, our customers deserve that and some more from us. Call this behavior “Listening Mindfully.”

Listening Mindfully will benefit you by:

• Making you aware of your own intentions and authenticity.
• Strengthening and improving your relationships with your colleagues, customers and community.
• Giving you the ability to bring about positive and meaningful change in the world.

In all conversations, Listening Mindfully can be achieved by taking these five simple steps:

1. Investigate Intentions. Before entering any conversation, find out what it is that you really want to achieve. An honest appraisal of your intentions will keep you engaged and make your customers feel served well.

2. Increase Awareness. While you are listening, clear your personal, mental clutter. This could be anything from nagging thoughts, to lists of things to do, to plans for the day. Postpone these thoughts, increase awareness, note change in tone, and pitch and pace of speaker. Look for underlying feelings and visualize your mind consciously capturing key ideas.

3. Interact with Interest and Enthusiasm. Listening is also done with your eyes and body. Maintain eye contact and lean towards the speaker. Every now and then blink with approval, nod, and smile or participate gently by uttering words like “uh-uh,” “hmmm,” or “I understand.” Keep this participation genuine and non-intrusive.

4. Inquire and Re-Phrase. All transfer of information, knowledge, or ideas from one mind to another generally leaves a small percentage of the unknown. Clarify and fill that gap as much as possible by making simple, direct, and inoffensive questions. Rephrase ideas or create comparisons to further solidify understanding.

5. Inscribe Impressions. Whenever and wherever possible take quick and colorful notes. You know what they say about remembering, “A blunt pencil is better than a sharp mind.” This will help you put down your impressions and review ideas and perceptions later.

Follow these five simple steps and your customer service experience will jump up several notches. Also, the next time you are in a bank with an attractive bank officer, it will help keep your mind where your body is. History repeats itself only because people do not listen mindfully the first time!

Raju Mandhyan
www.mandhyan.com

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