The “fight or flight” syndrome during public speaking, originates from here. Manifestations of this syndrome are sweaty palms, increased heartbeat, a parched throat, and knocking knees.
Once, I observed a sales director of a large multi-level marketing company who had the habit of calling for a round of applause every few minutes during his speech. In the din of the applause, he’d gulp in air to soothe his fears and then continue.
Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism,
Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person. – Dr. David M. Burns
A much better way to manage this fear is to constantly reach in and reclaim our authentic, inner being. Authenticity is achieved, as discussed earlier, by an honest appraisal of our objectives, purpose, and ulterior motives. After this, even if the structure and style of our speech is not that great, it becomes what my kids call “real”.
Many years ago, Mario Garrolinni, a speaker friend of mine died in a motorcycle accident. Several of his friends from the speaking and training business turned up to give eulogies at his wake. They all spoke with eloquence, wit, and style but the speaker that outshone them all was an old and humble mechanic from Mario’s factory.
He came up stooped shoulders, wrung his hands in agony, and stumbled through his words while clutching at the front of his shirt. He spoke of how much he loved Mario and shared happy little anecdotes of their friendship.
His language was simple. He wasn’t stylish or educated. As he spoke, there were tears and laughter in his eyes. After he finished there were tears and laughter in the eyes of everyone present. He was speaking the plain truth in simple words, authentically. Whenever, I get anxious or egotistical, I remember that old, humble Filipino mechanic and I simmer down and tap into my own authentic nature.
I am also not a big believer in the adage of “fake it until you make it”. I’d rather be honest, work hard and straight, and then “make it” so I don’t have to “fake it.” There are times that when you confess ignorance or inexperience you expose yourself to humiliation. But, confessions of truths can also make you endearing and human.
One day, Herbert Lee from Macau, a speaker/trainer friend of mine, spoke about how important it is to expose your inner self to create a better rapport. “You gotta open your hearts!” he cried. To prove this point to his audience he unbuttoned the front of his jacket, yanked his necktie off, and grabbed his shirt by the collar as if to rip it off. The audience leaned back and gasped, not knowing what was coming next. They didn’t want to see a nude speaker! With a flourish, my friend tore the shirt off his body, leaving his jacket on. The audience erupted into amazed laughter when they realized his shirt was a trick-shirt designed to be ripped off and away from under his jacket!
Herbert, though, had made his point that one must expose himself to be accepted and to be liked by his audience.
Sincerity and openness are major factors that can help you overcome your fears. While preparing to deliver a speech, ask yourself the following questions.
First, is the content of my speech true?
i. If there are facts, numbers or anecdotes that you are not sure of, not using them will cut down your anxiety.
Second, Am I telling half-truths and avoiding facts?
ii. If you are vague about concepts and are avoiding the real issues just so that you can fulfill the task of presenting, then you will be doubtful and fearful.
And third, what is my ulterior motive behind all the statements and suggestions?
iii. If your motives are well meaning and will truly benefit the audience, it becomes easier to speak with power, style and confidence.
This tapping into our authentic nature, expressing truths and overcoming anxiety through deep introspection forms the most important layer of the Heart of Public Speaking.
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