Authenticity and Public Speaking

Deep within your brain lies the amygdala_ also referred to as the “reptilian brain.” This part of the brain exercises no logic, rationality or order. It thrives on passion, fear, and rage.

The “fight or flight” syndrome during public speaking, originates from here. Manifestations of this syndrome are sweaty palms, increased heartbeat, a parched throat, and knocking knees.

Once, I observed a sales director of a large multi-level marketing company who had the habit of calling for a round of applause every few minutes during his speech. In the din of the applause, he’d gulp in air to soothe his fears and then continue.

Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism,
Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person. – Dr. David M. Burns

A much better way to manage this fear is to constantly reach in and reclaim our authentic, inner being. Authenticity is achieved, as discussed earlier, by an honest appraisal of our objectives, purpose, and ulterior motives. After this, even if the structure and style of our speech is not that great, it becomes what my kids call “real”.

Many years ago, Mario Garrolinni, a speaker friend of mine died in a motorcycle accident. Several of his friends from the speaking and training business turned up to give eulogies at his wake. They all spoke with eloquence, wit, and style but the speaker that outshone them all was an old and humble mechanic from Mario’s factory.

He came up stooped shoulders, wrung his hands in agony, and stumbled through his words while clutching at the front of his shirt. He spoke of how much he loved Mario and shared happy little anecdotes of their friendship.

His language was simple. He wasn’t stylish or educated. As he spoke, there were tears and laughter in his eyes. After he finished there were tears and laughter in the eyes of everyone present. He was speaking the plain truth in simple words, authentically. Whenever, I get anxious or egotistical, I remember that old, humble Filipino mechanic and I simmer down and tap into my own authentic nature.

I am also not a big believer in the adage of “fake it until you make it”. I’d rather be honest, work hard and straight, and then “make it” so I don’t have to “fake it.” There are times that when you confess ignorance or inexperience you expose yourself to humiliation. But, confessions of truths can also make you endearing and human.

One day, Herbert Lee from Macau, a speaker/trainer friend of mine, spoke about how important it is to expose your inner self to create a better rapport. “You gotta open your hearts!” he cried. To prove this point to his audience he unbuttoned the front of his jacket, yanked his necktie off, and grabbed his shirt by the collar as if to rip it off. The audience leaned back and gasped, not knowing what was coming next. They didn’t want to see a nude speaker! With a flourish, my friend tore the shirt off his body, leaving his jacket on. The audience erupted into amazed laughter when they realized his shirt was a trick-shirt designed to be ripped off and away from under his jacket!

Herbert, though, had made his point that one must expose himself to be accepted and to be liked by his audience.


Sincerity and openness are major factors that can help you overcome your fears. While preparing to deliver a speech, ask yourself the following questions.

First, is the content of my speech true?
i. If there are facts, numbers or anecdotes that you are not sure of, not using them will cut down your anxiety.
Second, Am I telling half-truths and avoiding facts?
ii. If you are vague about concepts and are avoiding the real issues just so that you can fulfill the task of presenting, then you will be doubtful and fearful.
And third, what is my ulterior motive behind all the statements and suggestions?
iii. If your motives are well meaning and will truly benefit the audience, it becomes easier to speak with power, style and confidence.

This tapping into our authentic nature, expressing truths and overcoming anxiety through deep introspection forms the most important layer of the Heart of Public Speaking.

Power of the Pause

A work of art, way before it becomes a masterpiece, must start with a plain white canvass. Hidden, and yet unborn, inside it lie the ponderings, the passions and the promise of hope and beauty. The artist’s creativity would be severely crippled, every time he picked up his brush, if the solitude of white on the canvass did not lure him to conceive and co-create a brand new reality. Just like masterpieces require the emptiness of a canvass to creatively explode upon; our conversations also need momentary silences, pauses, to express and highlight the magic and motivation which lie hidden in our hearts and minds.

Job applicants, job interviewees, salespeople, managers and even senior executives across industries fall into this trap of speaking up without thinking in. We forget to recognize and give way to the feelings within. This constant shooting-from-the-hip-ness adds nothing but more noise to the din and the mindlessness that engulfs our world. This aimless and excessive thoughtless verbosity is a waste of ammunition and a massive waste of human energy.

A pause, before, during and even after conversations adds color, rhythm and a panoramic elegance to conversations. A pause, properly orchestrated, is one of the most powerful dynamics of speech. It allows the speaker and the listener to assess thoughts, structure ideas and tap into the deeper recesses of our wisdom and instinct. In the language of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a pause allows us to align our internal resources of intellect, emotion and authentic self with our external resources of the body, speech and action.

In conversations, before interactions, we can chose to stop, to slow down and be still for a few seconds. This will allow us to put a leash on the chain-reaction of reactive behaviour. This can lessen our spinning off in the usual way of defend, offend, talk up, talk down and constantly justify our past performances. A pause is power and a pause induces empowerment and trust, as it makes the other person feel listened to. This little pause then becomes a source of powerful human energy.

The way to increase the amount of pausing before, during and after all our interactions is to keep a mindful awareness on our breathing. Every now then the din and the clamour of the world that surrounds us tends to take over and engulf us in its toxicity but an awareness on our breath acts as an anchor and helps us manage emotions. A visible sign, and constant life-saver of emotional intelligence is a smooth, deep and a rhythmic flow of breath.

In many of my workshops, I profess the 3P method of powerful connection, engagement and influence. In any interaction plant yourself in a position where you are physically stable, at ease and have good visibility and exposure. After planting, pause deeply to gather your thoughts and visualize empowerment of the listeners and a successful outcome of the conversation. Finally, project yourself with power and confidence keeping the goals of the interaction authentic, integral and driven by purpose. This will align your internal and external resources and also evoke excellence from others. That, in essence, is leadership and coaching for excellence in action.

Pausing consciously is a momentary respite between being completely self-absorbed to being awake and present for others and for life. Our conversations need these momentary silences and pauses, to express and high-light the magic and motivation which lie hidden in our hearts and minds.

Raju Mandhyan
Author, Coach and Trainer
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www.mandhyan.com A World of Clear, Creative and Conscientious Thinkers!
http://mandhyan.blogspot.com/
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How to Mind Map

Mind Mapping® is a fun and simple technique that can help you analyze more efficiently and boost your creativity in expressing ideas. Originated by creativity expert Tony Buzan, Mind Mapping® has done wonders for my learning, thinking, and speaking skills.

I came upon this technique several years ago while I was conducting a presentation skills workshop for the British Council in Manila. A young Englishwoman with bright eyes and an easy smile sat through my workshop and seemed to do very little except keep her eyes on me. She seemed to be listening to every word I spoke with an uncanny ease.

At first, I thought she was bored. Then I thought that perhaps she didn’t like what she was hearing or probably knew much more than I did. It was intimidating and scary. Curious, I walked up to her and expressed my concerns. She smiled, held up the Mind
Map® book and her notes in a Mind Map® form. Later in the session, she shared with us the rationale and the benefits of the technique. I went home that night and did some research, called up some friends, and was intrigued enough to spend days and weeks learning more about it. In a matter of weeks I started applying the technique and soon became addicted. It worked fabulously!

Today, I apply it for reading, researching, writing, during meetings, and for public speaking. This is how I define Mind Mapping®: a colorful, two dimensional, quick representations of your ideas, knowledge, and feelings.

The rationale behind Mind Mapping® is that our senses take in a lot of information, and all this input generates responses, ideas, and opinions that cannot be expressed vocally or written down as quickly as they occur. For example, if 10 ideas flash through our minds then we may only be able to express only half of them verbally and less than a quarter in writing. Mind Mapping® provides the answer to this malady: It is like a thought-grabber with eight or ten sets of limbs. Capturing your thoughts quickly gives you time to analyze and qualify them later. This makes your thinking process more effective. Putting down thoughts in images and colors also enhances retention and invites the creative, right side of your brain to come and play!

How to create a Mind Map®

• Draw an image of your topic using three colors at the center of the paper positioned horizontally.
• Make the central image a representation of the topic. Use images rather than words.
• Draw the main, appealing ideas as thick branches coming from the central image.
• Whenever possible, use different color themes for different branches. This will help you segregate and qualify ideas later.
• Maintain one word per branch and keep that word on top of the branch.
• Add images wherever you can instead of words.
• Add arrows between images and branches and ideas expressing relationships or commonalities among the ideas.
• Flow with abandon. Do not judge your thoughts. Grab your ideas first and quantify them later.
• Use capital letters, print, and be creative with your Mind Maps®.

Reading a Mind Map®

A Mind Map® is drawn from the center going outwards and read from the outside going inwards. The primary branches form the main points and the secondary and tertiary branches form the sub-headings or points. The branch and its sub-branches are read flexibly. Read clockwise and then convert single words into simple sentences as you go. Structure, sequence, and polishing off the language in the complete text can be done later.

Benefits of Mind Mapping®

• Noting and reading only relevant words save time.
• Reviewing is graphical and can be done at a glance.
• Concentration on real issues is enhanced.
• Key words are easily discernible since they are placed according to importance for easier recall.
• Clear and appropriate associations are made between key words.
• The brain finds it easier to accept and remember the visually stimulating, multi-colored, multi-dimensional Mind Maps® rather than monotonous, boring linear notes.
• While Mind Mapping®, one is constantly on the verge of new realizations; this encourages a continuous and potentially endless flow of thought.
• The Mind Map® works in harmony with the brain’s natural desire for completion or wholeness.
• By constantly utilizing both the logical left and the creative right side of the brain, the mind becomes increasingly alert and receptive.

Over the years, as an ardent “Mind-Mapper,” I have come to realize that Mind-Mapping my ideas and emotions helps me look at them through a deeper, more colorful perspective.

Mind-Mapping my ideas and letting them percolate for a while allows my subconscious to kick-in and gently delete what is unnecessary, enhance and internalize what is useful and good. The process also increases my faith in the value of the material and confidence in my own self.