Authentic Impact

In the usual rush of our youths we do not, many a times, give much thought to the subtle, the soft and the subjective elements of our people to people interactions. That is to say we do not much consciously give attention to these elements but at a subconscious level the impact of these interactions get imprinted and stay embedded until, much later, our conscious mind, as we mature and grow, starts to pay its respects to the power of the unconscious mind

One such interaction particularly remained embedded in my mind, until recent years when I uploaded the files and viewed them from a much experienced, and much matured a perspective as concerns people to people interactions.

In high school we had all kinds of teachers. Some were big, some were small, some slow and others fast and fun. Here, I don’t mean to disrespect teachers and the noble profession of teaching, considering that I am a teacher of sorts myself, but only want to make a point that we are all different, and we have different speeds and approaches towards life. In the language of Neuro Linguistic Programming we have different internal clocks, time-lines and different programs.

One of our teachers--let’s skip his name lest some readers do some detective work and pass this article on to him. Also, taking note of my own greying hair, chances are he may have moved on to a better place in life. Yet, you never know, someone might still pass on this newsletter to the next of his kin. This teacher worked, taught and managed his classrooms much too differently and carefully compared to others. Let’s name this teacher “Easy.”

One day, Easy’s class full of young, teenage boys had gotten out of hand and were being really naughty. They were screaming, shouting, shooting paper aeroplanes, breaking chairs and being boys just like boys are supposed to be, wild and unmanageable. Easy, as usual, was having a hard time getting a handle on this crowd. He shouted, he screamed, he banged his wooden walking stick on the table but to no avail. He threatened suspension for the whole class but the chaos and cacophony just wouldn’t subside. The class room had turned into a regular fish market.

Hearing the noise, another teacher, D.N. Irani, walked in from a neighbouring classroom and stood by and next to Easy. Teacher D.N. Irani was tall, lean, had a firm jaw, a high forehead with a closely cropped head of thick, salt and pepper hair. By the side of Easy, Teacher D.N.Irani just stood there, ever so quietly, right up and in front of the class. He said nothing, moved not bit, gestured nothing but stood there tall, quiet, simple and solemn. All he did was peer right into midst of the ruckus the boys were creating and one by one, through each one of the boys’ eyes, he peered down into their hearts, steadily and peacefully.

Very slowly and very surely the boys, one boy at a time, began to quiet down and then sneack up and into their individual desks. In less than two minutes, which, of course, seemed like much more under the steely gaze of D.N. Irani, the class suddenly had become so quiet that had a pin dropped it would have been heard into the next town.

At the end of this seemingly, eternal, thundering silence, Teacher D.N. Irani, said a few words that might have started with... “If I was you and if I were behaving the way you are behaving, I would have been totally ashamed...” After a few minutes, after just a few laconic words and after having us, honestly and earnestly, apologize to Teacher Easy, Teacher D.N. Irani walked out of our classroom and, literally, rode away into the sunset of the day at Sardar Dastur Hoshang Boys High School in Pune, India.

In this recollection, I am probably forgetting some of the details, but I am definitely and totally not forgetting the impact Teacher D.N.Irani had on us boys then and still has on my personal psyche until this day. Also I, absolutely, cannot rule out the fact that I may have been thinking, wondering and mulling upon the question as to what did D.N.Irani do differently compared to Easy.
Today, nearly 40 years later, I am convinced that D.N. Irani may not have been, formally, trained to make higher and authentic impact, he may not also have been privy to the principles for higher impact I am about to share with you. At a very primal level, at a very instinctive level he knew the power of authenticity, he knew the power of silence and true influence that can be learned and practised using one and all of the following three principles.

Congruence:

Teacher D.N. Irani knew the power of alignment between his internal thoughts and external behaviour. He knew that the values he espoused and talked about were the values that he lived and performed regularly and consistently. He knew that being peaceful, and in control on the inside helped him manage chaos and uncertainty that, usually, does occur and exist outside.

When in congruence, we are in total rapport, and in trust, with our own self. Our self-esteem and self image is at a personal high. The highest order of congruence occurs and is sensed and read by others, by our audience. They notice and sense that in this time we are totally aligned, in behaviour and attitude, all the way up to our values and aspirations.

Existence of, and practice of, extreme congruence delivers and creates authentic impact on our worlds powerfully and for a long time.

Presence:

Besides being in total alignment with his inner being, Teacher D. N. Irani was also a master at generating presence and being present through mind, soul and every single cell in his body. Presence and “being present” implies a holistic and high-powered awareness of our own thoughts, intelligence and also of the external stimuli. Presence gives respect to all that surrounds us, acknowledges it and then discerns as to what needs to be assessed, analysed and acted upon. But, way before assessment, analysis and action to be taken for or against external stimuli, presence means awareness, acknowledgement and respect.

Presence not just professes but practices, with deliberation, physical, mental and emotional awareness of what is, what exists and what transpires and grows around us. Presence also, because of the respect factor, always perceives positive possibilities and potential for what we regard and behold with our senses and in our thoughts and emotions.

Those rowdy boys back in the day, including me of course, complimented respect in favor of respect granted them by D.N. Irani. They knew that D.N.Irani did not look down on them and neither did he despise their core, their humanity. He adored and respected them but was in awe and shame of their actions, of their rogue behaviour at that moment.

Presence is and will remain a powerful precursor to creating authentic and powerful impact on others.

Precise Language:

Teacher D.N Irani, like Clint Eastwood a bit, was a man of few words. His language, his tone and his choice of words were never minced, general or contained motherhood statements. He made very few assumptions on people. He also did not exaggerate or understate a thought. He called a spade a spade in the most polite, proper and assertive way as possible. Every time he expressed his thoughts, he’d take his time. He used to choose his words, consider all possible interpretations and impacts on his audience and then, only then, speak up slowly and clearly. Every time he spoke,
I remember as a class, we used to give him a 100% attention and more. His influence on us was strong and it stayed with us long after he’d moved on.

Precision language from the perspective of Neuro Linguistic Programming does not make assumptions, does not generalize, does not chunk up or chunk down thoughts and ideas unless there is a specific purpose for doing so and the outcome of that action is for general good. In precision language a spade is always referred to and understood as being a spade. I am, of course, over here, creating a metaphor. What I mean is that thoughts, ideas and feelings are first clarified, verified and analysed thoroughly for effect, internally, before being expressed.

Being correct, precise, polite and confidently assertive with our expressions and our language is an art and a science that is a major requisite for leadership and authentic impact..


Today, years later, I would not have been able to share these stories and these well-known secrets about authentic impact with you, had I not been inspired and moved by D.N.Irani’s behaviour and successful usage of them back in the day. I also apologize to Teacher Easy for having used him as an example and a reference point to build my story.

Raju Mandhyan
Authentic Impact
www.mandhyan.com

Power of the Pause

A work of art, way before it becomes a masterpiece, must start with a plain white canvass. Hidden, and yet unborn, inside it lie the ponderings, the passions and the promise of hope and beauty. The artist’s creativity would be severely crippled, every time he picked up his brush, if the solitude of white on the canvass did not lure him to conceive and co-create a brand new reality. Just like masterpieces require the emptiness of a canvass to creatively explode upon; our conversations also need momentary silences, pauses, to express and highlight the magic and motivation which lie hidden in our hearts and minds.

Job applicants, job interviewees, salespeople, managers and even senior executives across industries fall into this trap of speaking up without thinking in. We forget to recognize and give way to the feelings within. This constant shooting-from-the-hip-ness adds nothing but more noise to the din and the mindlessness that engulfs our world. This aimless and excessive thoughtless verbosity is a waste of ammunition and a massive waste of human energy.

A pause, before, during and even after conversations adds color, rhythm and a panoramic elegance to conversations. A pause, properly orchestrated, is one of the most powerful dynamics of speech. It allows the speaker and the listener to assess thoughts, structure ideas and tap into the deeper recesses of our wisdom and instinct. In the language of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a pause allows us to align our internal resources of intellect, emotion and authentic self with our external resources of the body, speech and action.

In conversations, before interactions, we can chose to stop, to slow down and be still for a few seconds. This will allow us to put a leash on the chain-reaction of reactive behaviour. This can lessen our spinning off in the usual way of defend, offend, talk up, talk down and constantly justify our past performances. A pause is power and a pause induces empowerment and trust, as it makes the other person feel listened to. This little pause then becomes a source of powerful human energy.

The way to increase the amount of pausing before, during and after all our interactions is to keep a mindful awareness on our breathing. Every now then the din and the clamour of the world that surrounds us tends to take over and engulf us in its toxicity but an awareness on our breath acts as an anchor and helps us manage emotions. A visible sign, and constant life-saver of emotional intelligence is a smooth, deep and a rhythmic flow of breath.

In many of my workshops, I profess the 3P method of powerful connection, engagement and influence. In any interaction plant yourself in a position where you are physically stable, at ease and have good visibility and exposure. After planting, pause deeply to gather your thoughts and visualize empowerment of the listeners and a successful outcome of the conversation. Finally, project yourself with power and confidence keeping the goals of the interaction authentic, integral and driven by purpose. This will align your internal and external resources and also evoke excellence from others. That, in essence, is leadership and coaching for excellence in action.

Pausing consciously is a momentary respite between being completely self-absorbed to being awake and present for others and for life. Our conversations need these momentary silences and pauses, to express and high-light the magic and motivation which lie hidden in our hearts and minds.

Raju Mandhyan
Author, Coach and Trainer
Video Clip
www.mandhyan.com A World of Clear, Creative and Conscientious Thinkers!
http://mandhyan.blogspot.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/RajuMandhyan

Original Knowledge and Intellectual Property

The idea of original knowledge tied in with the concept of intellectual property does raise a lot of issues. The growth of knowledge has been like a raging fire and futurists claim that in the next decade or so everything we already will double. At the same there are others who want to, with good reason, like to protect the work they put out. I am off the bias that we should be careful and yet take failure to control things lightly. After all we still haven’t given credit to the person who put together the 26 letters of the alphabet and the person who came up with numbers.

Two of my speaker friends put out a query on Linked In and many others responded to their ponderings. I share here the questions and my thoughts on the subject.

Question from Karen Peña / Meeting Professional / Professional Speaker / Trainer / Motivator:

“Is it bad etiquette to reference and quote another speaker in your presentation? We all admire our peers in the industry. At times I would like to reference key points from their presentations, and give them the credit of course! Is that a big faux pas? “

Answer:

"The unexamined life is not worth living. " Socrates, Apology.

Now how many times has this been repeated, in variations, by writers and speakers over the centuries? Add to this the possibility that this quote, in itself, may have been a variation of something someone must have said before Socrates.
There is an inherent fallacy in the belief that something is totally original. Most everything I know I have learned from someone, somewhere and the process, prior to that, has been continuous. I, Ladies and Gentlemen, am nothing but a dung-heap of perceptions, which I claim to be my own! [Uh, wait! Didn't someone say something just like that before?]

The knowledge and the wisdom in one good book have similarities to the knowledge and the wisdom in another good book, even as these books may have been written thousands of years ago.

My stand is use words, ideas and suggestions by others. Give credit to the author everywhere you can and yet claim nothing to be your own unless the world credits it to you.

“To thine own-self be true; And it must follow, as the night the day. Thou can'st not then be false to any man.” Shakespeare-- Hamlet. Act I. Sc. 3


Question from Nishant Kasilbahtla, Speaker, Trainer and Memory Champ.

“How do you deal when one of your participants (in a talk) posts what all you taught in his / her blog? I was searching the internet and found a blog where almost all key ideas I discuss in my talk are posted by one enthusiastic blogger (in some cases verbatim). The funny thing is, he didn’t even bother to mention my name in the post. How do you deal with people like this? Your ideas,please?”

Answer:

Nishant, you might consider celebrating.

We are in the business of human development. We are in the business of helping others. We are in the business of learning, morphing and distributing knowledge and actionable knowledge. Knowledge that will eventually turn to wisdom. Wisdom to spirituality.

We are in the business of contribution to society and the world. We are out there speading the good word and then someone grabs it from you and runs.

What's he going to do? Spread it as his own? He, thus, has helped you spread the goodies. He is doing your job. Seek no retribution.

His intentions and his actions create his destiny. They do not change yours. That as you already know, is no secret, dude!

Epilogue:

The second query ended with a happy ending. Nishant, upon suggestion from Heather Hansen, emailed the blogger who went online and rewrote the blog and gave credit to the speaker/author.

Raju Mandhyan
www.mandhyan.com
A World of Clear, Creative and Conscientious Thinkers!

How to Mind Map

Mind Mapping® is a fun and simple technique that can help you analyze more efficiently and boost your creativity in expressing ideas. Originated by creativity expert Tony Buzan, Mind Mapping® has done wonders for my learning, thinking, and speaking skills.

I came upon this technique several years ago while I was conducting a presentation skills workshop for the British Council in Manila. A young Englishwoman with bright eyes and an easy smile sat through my workshop and seemed to do very little except keep her eyes on me. She seemed to be listening to every word I spoke with an uncanny ease.

At first, I thought she was bored. Then I thought that perhaps she didn’t like what she was hearing or probably knew much more than I did. It was intimidating and scary. Curious, I walked up to her and expressed my concerns. She smiled, held up the Mind
Map® book and her notes in a Mind Map® form. Later in the session, she shared with us the rationale and the benefits of the technique. I went home that night and did some research, called up some friends, and was intrigued enough to spend days and weeks learning more about it. In a matter of weeks I started applying the technique and soon became addicted. It worked fabulously!

Today, I apply it for reading, researching, writing, during meetings, and for public speaking. This is how I define Mind Mapping®: a colorful, two dimensional, quick representations of your ideas, knowledge, and feelings.

The rationale behind Mind Mapping® is that our senses take in a lot of information, and all this input generates responses, ideas, and opinions that cannot be expressed vocally or written down as quickly as they occur. For example, if 10 ideas flash through our minds then we may only be able to express only half of them verbally and less than a quarter in writing. Mind Mapping® provides the answer to this malady: It is like a thought-grabber with eight or ten sets of limbs. Capturing your thoughts quickly gives you time to analyze and qualify them later. This makes your thinking process more effective. Putting down thoughts in images and colors also enhances retention and invites the creative, right side of your brain to come and play!

How to create a Mind Map®

• Draw an image of your topic using three colors at the center of the paper positioned horizontally.
• Make the central image a representation of the topic. Use images rather than words.
• Draw the main, appealing ideas as thick branches coming from the central image.
• Whenever possible, use different color themes for different branches. This will help you segregate and qualify ideas later.
• Maintain one word per branch and keep that word on top of the branch.
• Add images wherever you can instead of words.
• Add arrows between images and branches and ideas expressing relationships or commonalities among the ideas.
• Flow with abandon. Do not judge your thoughts. Grab your ideas first and quantify them later.
• Use capital letters, print, and be creative with your Mind Maps®.

Reading a Mind Map®

A Mind Map® is drawn from the center going outwards and read from the outside going inwards. The primary branches form the main points and the secondary and tertiary branches form the sub-headings or points. The branch and its sub-branches are read flexibly. Read clockwise and then convert single words into simple sentences as you go. Structure, sequence, and polishing off the language in the complete text can be done later.

Benefits of Mind Mapping®

• Noting and reading only relevant words save time.
• Reviewing is graphical and can be done at a glance.
• Concentration on real issues is enhanced.
• Key words are easily discernible since they are placed according to importance for easier recall.
• Clear and appropriate associations are made between key words.
• The brain finds it easier to accept and remember the visually stimulating, multi-colored, multi-dimensional Mind Maps® rather than monotonous, boring linear notes.
• While Mind Mapping®, one is constantly on the verge of new realizations; this encourages a continuous and potentially endless flow of thought.
• The Mind Map® works in harmony with the brain’s natural desire for completion or wholeness.
• By constantly utilizing both the logical left and the creative right side of the brain, the mind becomes increasingly alert and receptive.

Over the years, as an ardent “Mind-Mapper,” I have come to realize that Mind-Mapping my ideas and emotions helps me look at them through a deeper, more colorful perspective.

Mind-Mapping my ideas and letting them percolate for a while allows my subconscious to kick-in and gently delete what is unnecessary, enhance and internalize what is useful and good. The process also increases my faith in the value of the material and confidence in my own self.