One such interaction particularly remained embedded in my mind, until recent years when I uploaded the files and viewed them from a much experienced, and much matured a perspective as concerns people to people interactions.
In high school we had all kinds of teachers. Some were big, some were small, some slow and others fast and fun. Here, I don’t mean to disrespect teachers and the noble profession of teaching, considering that I am a teacher of sorts myself, but only want to make a point that we are all different, and we have different speeds and approaches towards life. In the language of Neuro Linguistic Programming we have different internal clocks, time-lines and different programs.
One of our teachers--let’s skip his name lest some readers do some detective work and pass this article on to him. Also, taking note of my own greying hair, chances are he may have moved on to a better place in life. Yet, you never know, someone might still pass on this newsletter to the next of his kin. This teacher worked, taught and managed his classrooms much too differently and carefully compared to others. Let’s name this teacher “Easy.”
One day, Easy’s class full of young, teenage boys had gotten out of hand and were being really naughty. They were screaming, shouting, shooting paper aeroplanes, breaking chairs and being boys just like boys are supposed to be, wild and unmanageable. Easy, as usual, was having a hard time getting a handle on this crowd. He shouted, he screamed, he banged his wooden walking stick on the table but to no avail. He threatened suspension for the whole class but the chaos and cacophony just wouldn’t subside. The class room had turned into a regular fish market.
Hearing the noise, another teacher, D.N. Irani, walked in from a neighbouring classroom and stood by and next to Easy. Teacher D.N. Irani was tall, lean, had a firm jaw, a high forehead with a closely cropped head of thick, salt and pepper hair. By the side of Easy, Teacher D.N.Irani just stood there, ever so quietly, right up and in front of the class. He said nothing, moved not bit, gestured nothing but stood there tall, quiet, simple and solemn. All he did was peer right into midst of the ruckus the boys were creating and one by one, through each one of the boys’ eyes, he peered down into their hearts, steadily and peacefully.
Very slowly and very surely the boys, one boy at a time, began to quiet down and then sneack up and into their individual desks. In less than two minutes, which, of course, seemed like much more under the steely gaze of D.N. Irani, the class suddenly had become so quiet that had a pin dropped it would have been heard into the next town.
At the end of this seemingly, eternal, thundering silence, Teacher D.N. Irani, said a few words that might have started with... “If I was you and if I were behaving the way you are behaving, I would have been totally ashamed...” After a few minutes, after just a few laconic words and after having us, honestly and earnestly, apologize to Teacher Easy, Teacher D.N. Irani walked out of our classroom and, literally, rode away into the sunset of the day at Sardar Dastur Hoshang Boys High School in Pune, India.
In this recollection, I am probably forgetting some of the details, but I am definitely and totally not forgetting the impact Teacher D.N.Irani had on us boys then and still has on my personal psyche until this day. Also I, absolutely, cannot rule out the fact that I may have been thinking, wondering and mulling upon the question as to what did D.N.Irani do differently compared to Easy.
Today, nearly 40 years later, I am convinced that D.N. Irani may not have been, formally, trained to make higher and authentic impact, he may not also have been privy to the principles for higher impact I am about to share with you. At a very primal level, at a very instinctive level he knew the power of authenticity, he knew the power of silence and true influence that can be learned and practised using one and all of the following three principles.
Congruence:
Teacher D.N. Irani knew the power of alignment between his internal thoughts and external behaviour. He knew that the values he espoused and talked about were the values that he lived and performed regularly and consistently. He knew that being peaceful, and in control on the inside helped him manage chaos and uncertainty that, usually, does occur and exist outside.
When in congruence, we are in total rapport, and in trust, with our own self. Our self-esteem and self image is at a personal high. The highest order of congruence occurs and is sensed and read by others, by our audience. They notice and sense that in this time we are totally aligned, in behaviour and attitude, all the way up to our values and aspirations.
Existence of, and practice of, extreme congruence delivers and creates authentic impact on our worlds powerfully and for a long time.
Presence:
Besides being in total alignment with his inner being, Teacher D. N. Irani was also a master at generating presence and being present through mind, soul and every single cell in his body. Presence and “being present” implies a holistic and high-powered awareness of our own thoughts, intelligence and also of the external stimuli. Presence gives respect to all that surrounds us, acknowledges it and then discerns as to what needs to be assessed, analysed and acted upon. But, way before assessment, analysis and action to be taken for or against external stimuli, presence means awareness, acknowledgement and respect.
Presence not just professes but practices, with deliberation, physical, mental and emotional awareness of what is, what exists and what transpires and grows around us. Presence also, because of the respect factor, always perceives positive possibilities and potential for what we regard and behold with our senses and in our thoughts and emotions.
Those rowdy boys back in the day, including me of course, complimented respect in favor of respect granted them by D.N. Irani. They knew that D.N.Irani did not look down on them and neither did he despise their core, their humanity. He adored and respected them but was in awe and shame of their actions, of their rogue behaviour at that moment.
Presence is and will remain a powerful precursor to creating authentic and powerful impact on others.
Precise Language:
Teacher D.N Irani, like Clint Eastwood a bit, was a man of few words. His language, his tone and his choice of words were never minced, general or contained motherhood statements. He made very few assumptions on people. He also did not exaggerate or understate a thought. He called a spade a spade in the most polite, proper and assertive way as possible. Every time he expressed his thoughts, he’d take his time. He used to choose his words, consider all possible interpretations and impacts on his audience and then, only then, speak up slowly and clearly. Every time he spoke,
I remember as a class, we used to give him a 100% attention and more. His influence on us was strong and it stayed with us long after he’d moved on.
Precision language from the perspective of Neuro Linguistic Programming does not make assumptions, does not generalize, does not chunk up or chunk down thoughts and ideas unless there is a specific purpose for doing so and the outcome of that action is for general good. In precision language a spade is always referred to and understood as being a spade. I am, of course, over here, creating a metaphor. What I mean is that thoughts, ideas and feelings are first clarified, verified and analysed thoroughly for effect, internally, before being expressed.
Being correct, precise, polite and confidently assertive with our expressions and our language is an art and a science that is a major requisite for leadership and authentic impact..
Today, years later, I would not have been able to share these stories and these well-known secrets about authentic impact with you, had I not been inspired and moved by D.N.Irani’s behaviour and successful usage of them back in the day. I also apologize to Teacher Easy for having used him as an example and a reference point to build my story.
Raju Mandhyan
Authentic Impact
www.mandhyan.com
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