pit bulls & entrepreneurs:identity: conversations about it.

Identity: the distinguishing but consistent character or personality of an individual in constantly changing circumstances.

Identity is a mental model of one’s self. It relates to an individual’s self image, self esteem, and uniqueness. It contributes to how that individual views one’s self as a person and how he or she stands in relation to others around him. The more assured and accepting a person is of one’s own self image, the more peaceful and stable one’s behavior and performance are in all aspects of life.

Actions:

The pit bull’s not-so-attractive appearance may induce hysteria. Yet it actually translates to practicality and economy. A pit bull requires minimal grooming and maintenance. Its nature and eating habits are simple and predictable. It has no fancy needs and doesn’t demand much attention like labradors, pomeranians, or poodles do. It is also reputed to be very hardworking and frugal, and it knows its position and purpose in life.

Just by being simple, rugged, and consistent, the pit bull can be very comforting company. His earthy nature lends an air of comfort and support to others around him and even provides a sense of therapy to those who need healing.

A few years ago, Cody, a pit bull puppy, was picked by members of the Even Chance Pit Bull Advocacy of San Diego when he was seen limping around an abandoned shelter. At the rescue veterinarian’s office, his chances didn’t look too good when he was diagnosed with a congenital deformity called ectrodactyly or “lobster claw.” Kind donors, through Even Chance, paid to have an orthopedic surgeon correct Cody’s paw. His two split toes were fused together with the surrounding skin, transforming his “lobster claw” to a “mitten.”

Cody was undergoing water therapy when his nature was discovered to be earthy, simple, and very loving. It was as if his past and pain had softened him rather than traumatize him. Soon, he was adopted by Barbara Sullier, a parent of one of the interns at the clinic.

Barbara described Cody as “a sweet, little, loving boy with a charisma that pulls people over to talk to him. He loves all people and wants to make them happy.” Cody still continued to limp due to missing bones and muscles in his right foreleg, but that hardly affected his style.

His personality and traits soon led him to be trained and certified, at age one, as a therapy dog by the Los Angeles based New Leash on Life’s “Lend a Paw” program. During wheelchair tests, Cody would reach up gently and kiss people with disabilities. Children with physical disabilities would easily relate to him and get their spirits boosted by his consistent kindness and even nature.

Through all prejudices and hardships against him, Cody never lost sight of his own, true image. He knew exactly who he was and what his purpose in life was.

Source: Hollow, M. “Pit Bull Stories” July 12, 2010. (http://petnewsandviews.com/2010/07/pit-bull-stories/)



Conversations:

The value of a clear self identity lies in the fact that once you know, understand, and accept who you are; it becomes easy to distinguish between what you want and what you need in life. With an enhanced self perspective, our goals acquire a precise image and definition. Our purpose in work and life becomes crystal clear.

Most of us spend large portions of our lives trying to figure out what it is that we want, what life and career paths to choose. Having a correct self image ensures a clear set of personal objectives. It allows us to invest our energies in the right places and at the right time. Our internal and external resources fall in place, start complementing each other, and empower us to achieve fruitful and effective results.

What can we learn from Cody and Mike? How can we be clear about our identity, and consequently, our goals?

• Know yourself. And in getting to know yourself, refrain from letting your ego and a false sense of who you are influence your choices and decisions in life and business. Knowing, understanding, and accepting yourself as you are needs a powerful combination of humility, awareness, and personal strength.

• Practice being completely at ease with yourself, your background, and your culture. Honestly and objectively recognize and then appreciate your strengths. No two people in the world have exactly the same genetic structure, breeding, and experiences. If our backgrounds differ, naturally, our actions and results should also be different. Refrain from being unduly impressed by the shape, size, and the sizzle of the successes of others around you.

• Consolidate and direct all your energies and all your entrepreneurial efforts in the direction of your true choice at a steady and a consistent pace. Erik H. Erikson, in his book Identity and the Life Cycle (1995), claims that a clear sense of identity provides one with the alacrity and ability to experience one’s self, to have consistency and continuity, and to act according to one’s calling.


• Grow gradually. Being successful as an entrepreneur will take a lot of effort and sacrifice. Leap for growth and greater heights only after you have reached the easily scalable ones at a steady pace. My grandfather, who was born just before the Great Depression, had failed and succeeded at many businesses in his lifetime. In his seventies, in India, he had become well off, stable, and happy with his life. He used to say, “In business and in life, one shouldn’t make any sudden and sharp u-turns.”

• Clarify your values. All clear choices, creative strategies, and conscientious efforts are bound to bring success and glory. Ironically, continuous success might derail our progress if we fall to the temptation of recklessness. As your horizons expand, you may change strategies and tactics but must continue to lean on core values which, originally, made you “YOU!”

Authentic Impact

In the usual rush of our youths we do not, many a times, give much thought to the subtle, the soft and the subjective elements of our people to people interactions. That is to say we do not much consciously give attention to these elements but at a subconscious level the impact of these interactions get imprinted and stay embedded until, much later, our conscious mind, as we mature and grow, starts to pay its respects to the power of the unconscious mind

One such interaction particularly remained embedded in my mind, until recent years when I uploaded the files and viewed them from a much experienced, and much matured a perspective as concerns people to people interactions.

In high school we had all kinds of teachers. Some were big, some were small, some slow and others fast and fun. Here, I don’t mean to disrespect teachers and the noble profession of teaching, considering that I am a teacher of sorts myself, but only want to make a point that we are all different, and we have different speeds and approaches towards life. In the language of Neuro Linguistic Programming we have different internal clocks, time-lines and different programs.

One of our teachers--let’s skip his name lest some readers do some detective work and pass this article on to him. Also, taking note of my own greying hair, chances are he may have moved on to a better place in life. Yet, you never know, someone might still pass on this newsletter to the next of his kin. This teacher worked, taught and managed his classrooms much too differently and carefully compared to others. Let’s name this teacher “Easy.”

One day, Easy’s class full of young, teenage boys had gotten out of hand and were being really naughty. They were screaming, shouting, shooting paper aeroplanes, breaking chairs and being boys just like boys are supposed to be, wild and unmanageable. Easy, as usual, was having a hard time getting a handle on this crowd. He shouted, he screamed, he banged his wooden walking stick on the table but to no avail. He threatened suspension for the whole class but the chaos and cacophony just wouldn’t subside. The class room had turned into a regular fish market.

Hearing the noise, another teacher, D.N. Irani, walked in from a neighbouring classroom and stood by and next to Easy. Teacher D.N. Irani was tall, lean, had a firm jaw, a high forehead with a closely cropped head of thick, salt and pepper hair. By the side of Easy, Teacher D.N.Irani just stood there, ever so quietly, right up and in front of the class. He said nothing, moved not bit, gestured nothing but stood there tall, quiet, simple and solemn. All he did was peer right into midst of the ruckus the boys were creating and one by one, through each one of the boys’ eyes, he peered down into their hearts, steadily and peacefully.

Very slowly and very surely the boys, one boy at a time, began to quiet down and then sneack up and into their individual desks. In less than two minutes, which, of course, seemed like much more under the steely gaze of D.N. Irani, the class suddenly had become so quiet that had a pin dropped it would have been heard into the next town.

At the end of this seemingly, eternal, thundering silence, Teacher D.N. Irani, said a few words that might have started with... “If I was you and if I were behaving the way you are behaving, I would have been totally ashamed...” After a few minutes, after just a few laconic words and after having us, honestly and earnestly, apologize to Teacher Easy, Teacher D.N. Irani walked out of our classroom and, literally, rode away into the sunset of the day at Sardar Dastur Hoshang Boys High School in Pune, India.

In this recollection, I am probably forgetting some of the details, but I am definitely and totally not forgetting the impact Teacher D.N.Irani had on us boys then and still has on my personal psyche until this day. Also I, absolutely, cannot rule out the fact that I may have been thinking, wondering and mulling upon the question as to what did D.N.Irani do differently compared to Easy.
Today, nearly 40 years later, I am convinced that D.N. Irani may not have been, formally, trained to make higher and authentic impact, he may not also have been privy to the principles for higher impact I am about to share with you. At a very primal level, at a very instinctive level he knew the power of authenticity, he knew the power of silence and true influence that can be learned and practised using one and all of the following three principles.

Congruence:

Teacher D.N. Irani knew the power of alignment between his internal thoughts and external behaviour. He knew that the values he espoused and talked about were the values that he lived and performed regularly and consistently. He knew that being peaceful, and in control on the inside helped him manage chaos and uncertainty that, usually, does occur and exist outside.

When in congruence, we are in total rapport, and in trust, with our own self. Our self-esteem and self image is at a personal high. The highest order of congruence occurs and is sensed and read by others, by our audience. They notice and sense that in this time we are totally aligned, in behaviour and attitude, all the way up to our values and aspirations.

Existence of, and practice of, extreme congruence delivers and creates authentic impact on our worlds powerfully and for a long time.

Presence:

Besides being in total alignment with his inner being, Teacher D. N. Irani was also a master at generating presence and being present through mind, soul and every single cell in his body. Presence and “being present” implies a holistic and high-powered awareness of our own thoughts, intelligence and also of the external stimuli. Presence gives respect to all that surrounds us, acknowledges it and then discerns as to what needs to be assessed, analysed and acted upon. But, way before assessment, analysis and action to be taken for or against external stimuli, presence means awareness, acknowledgement and respect.

Presence not just professes but practices, with deliberation, physical, mental and emotional awareness of what is, what exists and what transpires and grows around us. Presence also, because of the respect factor, always perceives positive possibilities and potential for what we regard and behold with our senses and in our thoughts and emotions.

Those rowdy boys back in the day, including me of course, complimented respect in favor of respect granted them by D.N. Irani. They knew that D.N.Irani did not look down on them and neither did he despise their core, their humanity. He adored and respected them but was in awe and shame of their actions, of their rogue behaviour at that moment.

Presence is and will remain a powerful precursor to creating authentic and powerful impact on others.

Precise Language:

Teacher D.N Irani, like Clint Eastwood a bit, was a man of few words. His language, his tone and his choice of words were never minced, general or contained motherhood statements. He made very few assumptions on people. He also did not exaggerate or understate a thought. He called a spade a spade in the most polite, proper and assertive way as possible. Every time he expressed his thoughts, he’d take his time. He used to choose his words, consider all possible interpretations and impacts on his audience and then, only then, speak up slowly and clearly. Every time he spoke,
I remember as a class, we used to give him a 100% attention and more. His influence on us was strong and it stayed with us long after he’d moved on.

Precision language from the perspective of Neuro Linguistic Programming does not make assumptions, does not generalize, does not chunk up or chunk down thoughts and ideas unless there is a specific purpose for doing so and the outcome of that action is for general good. In precision language a spade is always referred to and understood as being a spade. I am, of course, over here, creating a metaphor. What I mean is that thoughts, ideas and feelings are first clarified, verified and analysed thoroughly for effect, internally, before being expressed.

Being correct, precise, polite and confidently assertive with our expressions and our language is an art and a science that is a major requisite for leadership and authentic impact..


Today, years later, I would not have been able to share these stories and these well-known secrets about authentic impact with you, had I not been inspired and moved by D.N.Irani’s behaviour and successful usage of them back in the day. I also apologize to Teacher Easy for having used him as an example and a reference point to build my story.

Raju Mandhyan
Authentic Impact
www.mandhyan.com