pit bulls & entrepreneurs:identity: conversations about it.

Identity: the distinguishing but consistent character or personality of an individual in constantly changing circumstances.

Identity is a mental model of one’s self. It relates to an individual’s self image, self esteem, and uniqueness. It contributes to how that individual views one’s self as a person and how he or she stands in relation to others around him. The more assured and accepting a person is of one’s own self image, the more peaceful and stable one’s behavior and performance are in all aspects of life.

Actions:

The pit bull’s not-so-attractive appearance may induce hysteria. Yet it actually translates to practicality and economy. A pit bull requires minimal grooming and maintenance. Its nature and eating habits are simple and predictable. It has no fancy needs and doesn’t demand much attention like labradors, pomeranians, or poodles do. It is also reputed to be very hardworking and frugal, and it knows its position and purpose in life.

Just by being simple, rugged, and consistent, the pit bull can be very comforting company. His earthy nature lends an air of comfort and support to others around him and even provides a sense of therapy to those who need healing.

A few years ago, Cody, a pit bull puppy, was picked by members of the Even Chance Pit Bull Advocacy of San Diego when he was seen limping around an abandoned shelter. At the rescue veterinarian’s office, his chances didn’t look too good when he was diagnosed with a congenital deformity called ectrodactyly or “lobster claw.” Kind donors, through Even Chance, paid to have an orthopedic surgeon correct Cody’s paw. His two split toes were fused together with the surrounding skin, transforming his “lobster claw” to a “mitten.”

Cody was undergoing water therapy when his nature was discovered to be earthy, simple, and very loving. It was as if his past and pain had softened him rather than traumatize him. Soon, he was adopted by Barbara Sullier, a parent of one of the interns at the clinic.

Barbara described Cody as “a sweet, little, loving boy with a charisma that pulls people over to talk to him. He loves all people and wants to make them happy.” Cody still continued to limp due to missing bones and muscles in his right foreleg, but that hardly affected his style.

His personality and traits soon led him to be trained and certified, at age one, as a therapy dog by the Los Angeles based New Leash on Life’s “Lend a Paw” program. During wheelchair tests, Cody would reach up gently and kiss people with disabilities. Children with physical disabilities would easily relate to him and get their spirits boosted by his consistent kindness and even nature.

Through all prejudices and hardships against him, Cody never lost sight of his own, true image. He knew exactly who he was and what his purpose in life was.

Source: Hollow, M. “Pit Bull Stories” July 12, 2010. (http://petnewsandviews.com/2010/07/pit-bull-stories/)



Conversations:

The value of a clear self identity lies in the fact that once you know, understand, and accept who you are; it becomes easy to distinguish between what you want and what you need in life. With an enhanced self perspective, our goals acquire a precise image and definition. Our purpose in work and life becomes crystal clear.

Most of us spend large portions of our lives trying to figure out what it is that we want, what life and career paths to choose. Having a correct self image ensures a clear set of personal objectives. It allows us to invest our energies in the right places and at the right time. Our internal and external resources fall in place, start complementing each other, and empower us to achieve fruitful and effective results.

What can we learn from Cody and Mike? How can we be clear about our identity, and consequently, our goals?

• Know yourself. And in getting to know yourself, refrain from letting your ego and a false sense of who you are influence your choices and decisions in life and business. Knowing, understanding, and accepting yourself as you are needs a powerful combination of humility, awareness, and personal strength.

• Practice being completely at ease with yourself, your background, and your culture. Honestly and objectively recognize and then appreciate your strengths. No two people in the world have exactly the same genetic structure, breeding, and experiences. If our backgrounds differ, naturally, our actions and results should also be different. Refrain from being unduly impressed by the shape, size, and the sizzle of the successes of others around you.

• Consolidate and direct all your energies and all your entrepreneurial efforts in the direction of your true choice at a steady and a consistent pace. Erik H. Erikson, in his book Identity and the Life Cycle (1995), claims that a clear sense of identity provides one with the alacrity and ability to experience one’s self, to have consistency and continuity, and to act according to one’s calling.


• Grow gradually. Being successful as an entrepreneur will take a lot of effort and sacrifice. Leap for growth and greater heights only after you have reached the easily scalable ones at a steady pace. My grandfather, who was born just before the Great Depression, had failed and succeeded at many businesses in his lifetime. In his seventies, in India, he had become well off, stable, and happy with his life. He used to say, “In business and in life, one shouldn’t make any sudden and sharp u-turns.”

• Clarify your values. All clear choices, creative strategies, and conscientious efforts are bound to bring success and glory. Ironically, continuous success might derail our progress if we fall to the temptation of recklessness. As your horizons expand, you may change strategies and tactics but must continue to lean on core values which, originally, made you “YOU!”

Authentic Impact

In the usual rush of our youths we do not, many a times, give much thought to the subtle, the soft and the subjective elements of our people to people interactions. That is to say we do not much consciously give attention to these elements but at a subconscious level the impact of these interactions get imprinted and stay embedded until, much later, our conscious mind, as we mature and grow, starts to pay its respects to the power of the unconscious mind

One such interaction particularly remained embedded in my mind, until recent years when I uploaded the files and viewed them from a much experienced, and much matured a perspective as concerns people to people interactions.

In high school we had all kinds of teachers. Some were big, some were small, some slow and others fast and fun. Here, I don’t mean to disrespect teachers and the noble profession of teaching, considering that I am a teacher of sorts myself, but only want to make a point that we are all different, and we have different speeds and approaches towards life. In the language of Neuro Linguistic Programming we have different internal clocks, time-lines and different programs.

One of our teachers--let’s skip his name lest some readers do some detective work and pass this article on to him. Also, taking note of my own greying hair, chances are he may have moved on to a better place in life. Yet, you never know, someone might still pass on this newsletter to the next of his kin. This teacher worked, taught and managed his classrooms much too differently and carefully compared to others. Let’s name this teacher “Easy.”

One day, Easy’s class full of young, teenage boys had gotten out of hand and were being really naughty. They were screaming, shouting, shooting paper aeroplanes, breaking chairs and being boys just like boys are supposed to be, wild and unmanageable. Easy, as usual, was having a hard time getting a handle on this crowd. He shouted, he screamed, he banged his wooden walking stick on the table but to no avail. He threatened suspension for the whole class but the chaos and cacophony just wouldn’t subside. The class room had turned into a regular fish market.

Hearing the noise, another teacher, D.N. Irani, walked in from a neighbouring classroom and stood by and next to Easy. Teacher D.N. Irani was tall, lean, had a firm jaw, a high forehead with a closely cropped head of thick, salt and pepper hair. By the side of Easy, Teacher D.N.Irani just stood there, ever so quietly, right up and in front of the class. He said nothing, moved not bit, gestured nothing but stood there tall, quiet, simple and solemn. All he did was peer right into midst of the ruckus the boys were creating and one by one, through each one of the boys’ eyes, he peered down into their hearts, steadily and peacefully.

Very slowly and very surely the boys, one boy at a time, began to quiet down and then sneack up and into their individual desks. In less than two minutes, which, of course, seemed like much more under the steely gaze of D.N. Irani, the class suddenly had become so quiet that had a pin dropped it would have been heard into the next town.

At the end of this seemingly, eternal, thundering silence, Teacher D.N. Irani, said a few words that might have started with... “If I was you and if I were behaving the way you are behaving, I would have been totally ashamed...” After a few minutes, after just a few laconic words and after having us, honestly and earnestly, apologize to Teacher Easy, Teacher D.N. Irani walked out of our classroom and, literally, rode away into the sunset of the day at Sardar Dastur Hoshang Boys High School in Pune, India.

In this recollection, I am probably forgetting some of the details, but I am definitely and totally not forgetting the impact Teacher D.N.Irani had on us boys then and still has on my personal psyche until this day. Also I, absolutely, cannot rule out the fact that I may have been thinking, wondering and mulling upon the question as to what did D.N.Irani do differently compared to Easy.
Today, nearly 40 years later, I am convinced that D.N. Irani may not have been, formally, trained to make higher and authentic impact, he may not also have been privy to the principles for higher impact I am about to share with you. At a very primal level, at a very instinctive level he knew the power of authenticity, he knew the power of silence and true influence that can be learned and practised using one and all of the following three principles.

Congruence:

Teacher D.N. Irani knew the power of alignment between his internal thoughts and external behaviour. He knew that the values he espoused and talked about were the values that he lived and performed regularly and consistently. He knew that being peaceful, and in control on the inside helped him manage chaos and uncertainty that, usually, does occur and exist outside.

When in congruence, we are in total rapport, and in trust, with our own self. Our self-esteem and self image is at a personal high. The highest order of congruence occurs and is sensed and read by others, by our audience. They notice and sense that in this time we are totally aligned, in behaviour and attitude, all the way up to our values and aspirations.

Existence of, and practice of, extreme congruence delivers and creates authentic impact on our worlds powerfully and for a long time.

Presence:

Besides being in total alignment with his inner being, Teacher D. N. Irani was also a master at generating presence and being present through mind, soul and every single cell in his body. Presence and “being present” implies a holistic and high-powered awareness of our own thoughts, intelligence and also of the external stimuli. Presence gives respect to all that surrounds us, acknowledges it and then discerns as to what needs to be assessed, analysed and acted upon. But, way before assessment, analysis and action to be taken for or against external stimuli, presence means awareness, acknowledgement and respect.

Presence not just professes but practices, with deliberation, physical, mental and emotional awareness of what is, what exists and what transpires and grows around us. Presence also, because of the respect factor, always perceives positive possibilities and potential for what we regard and behold with our senses and in our thoughts and emotions.

Those rowdy boys back in the day, including me of course, complimented respect in favor of respect granted them by D.N. Irani. They knew that D.N.Irani did not look down on them and neither did he despise their core, their humanity. He adored and respected them but was in awe and shame of their actions, of their rogue behaviour at that moment.

Presence is and will remain a powerful precursor to creating authentic and powerful impact on others.

Precise Language:

Teacher D.N Irani, like Clint Eastwood a bit, was a man of few words. His language, his tone and his choice of words were never minced, general or contained motherhood statements. He made very few assumptions on people. He also did not exaggerate or understate a thought. He called a spade a spade in the most polite, proper and assertive way as possible. Every time he expressed his thoughts, he’d take his time. He used to choose his words, consider all possible interpretations and impacts on his audience and then, only then, speak up slowly and clearly. Every time he spoke,
I remember as a class, we used to give him a 100% attention and more. His influence on us was strong and it stayed with us long after he’d moved on.

Precision language from the perspective of Neuro Linguistic Programming does not make assumptions, does not generalize, does not chunk up or chunk down thoughts and ideas unless there is a specific purpose for doing so and the outcome of that action is for general good. In precision language a spade is always referred to and understood as being a spade. I am, of course, over here, creating a metaphor. What I mean is that thoughts, ideas and feelings are first clarified, verified and analysed thoroughly for effect, internally, before being expressed.

Being correct, precise, polite and confidently assertive with our expressions and our language is an art and a science that is a major requisite for leadership and authentic impact..


Today, years later, I would not have been able to share these stories and these well-known secrets about authentic impact with you, had I not been inspired and moved by D.N.Irani’s behaviour and successful usage of them back in the day. I also apologize to Teacher Easy for having used him as an example and a reference point to build my story.

Raju Mandhyan
Authentic Impact
www.mandhyan.com

pit bulls & entrepreneurs:identity authenticates intention

Reflections: Continuation of Chapter 1

Mike Asrani was twenty-five when he came to work for a small company that traded sporting goods in the Philippines. Born and raised in a simple family in Mumbai, he wasn’t too fussy about the quality and the quantity of work he had to do in an alien land. The chaotic and congested streets of his lower middle class neighborhood in Mumbai taught him to survive and thrive in tough times. He had soldiered through challenging conditions and made do with sparse resources. Growing up in a tightly knit, patriarchal family, he disciplined himself to have frugal, simple needs. He also was not easily tempted by things shiny and slick. The sights and sounds of Manila in the early 80s amazed him but did not change his earthy, uncomplicated, and tenacious personality.

Every day, Mike woke up at an early hour, said his prayers, ate a simple meal, dressed in ordinary clothes, and went to work. He put in the necessary effort, concentration, and heart into his job. He took orders well, executed them to perfection, efficiently worked on the reports, kept track of his own performance, and planned his hours and days well. He obeyed orders and followed systems diligently. He didn’t seek any accolades or attention for his work. A job was a job to him, and life was a life to be lived plainly and simply. No complications. No hang-ups.

I knew Mike personally. Initially, his down-to-earth nature, in contrast to my gregarious personality, made him seem bland. Over time however, I realized there were wisdom, strength, and substance in his ways.

The most amazing and awesome truth about Mike was that he knew exactly who he was. He knew he wasn’t a genius like Einstein was. He knew he didn’t have the brilliance of Drucker. And he certainly never mistook himself for a flamboyant Liberace. Mike knew that his looks and charisma wouldn’t be the qualities that would attract anyone to him. He survived with minimum grooming and maintenance.

To him, life was a series of routines. He was regular and predictable with his movements and habits. He learned how to sustain himself on a regular and repetitive diet. His personality and charisma could have done with some major overhauling, but Mike did not care about that; all Mike knew was that he needed to survive and thrive.

In less than two years at work, Mike had figured out the sporting goods trade. He knew where the goods came from, what kind of goods they were, how they were costed, stored, and priced. He knew whom to sell to, where to sell, and how exactly to make a profit from the sales. His earlier job had required him to sell to hundreds of small stores, on credit, across the city and the country. He was given only a motorcycle and a map. In less than two years, Mike had also figured out the streets of Metro Manila and the lay of the Philippine land. He had picked up the local language, the culture, and the nuances of the Filipino business community. He had also discovered the right cultural buttons he needed to push to build mutually beneficial and lasting relationships. He had figured out the cost of living for the next two to three years, and he saved up every shiny and dull centavo he could to allow him to go into business for himself in the sporting goods industry.

He started small. He had no airs. He avoided all fanfare, and he felt no fear. He knew what he had to do. He had to do exactly what his former employers were doing but on a miniscule level and at an extremely consistent pace. He went into business, and he kept up his uncomplicated routine, except that he woke at a much earlier hour than when he was employed. He ate simpler meals. He planned his hours and his days more diligently.

He executed work with higher perfection. He kept impeccable, flawless, handwritten, records of purchases, operational costs, sales, collectibles, profits, and his rapidly growing inventory and savings. He continued to be dull, boring, and charmless. He still didn’t mistake himself for Einstein, Drucker, or Liberace. So focused was he on business that he used to think that Clint Eastwood was a prospect from a shopping mall in Manila called Eastwood. Like the pit bull Cody, he knew his purpose, and lived to serve that purpose.

His business grew. It grew through the revolution of the 80s. It grew through the season of military coups and consistent brownouts of the 90s. Nothing bothered him during the Asian Crisis of 1997. Later in that decade as the 20th century came to an end, he didn’t even hear of the Y2K bug, which had terrified the rest of the breathing world. He just plodded on and on. His business bypassed the Clinton affair, did not bat an eyelash when Princess Diana passed away, and whizzed past the war on terror in Iraq and Afghanistan. Mike displayed consistency and a strong identity in changing circumstances. He nurtured his business like a farmer nurtures his crops -- plowing, digging, sowing, watering, and harvesting.

Unaffected by anything, armed with the concentration of a monk and the single mindedness of a mole, Mike worked through his own disciplines on a daily basis. Sometime before the century turned over, Mike got married, had kids, bought warehouses, built homes, upgraded his vehicles, and kept plugging on. No fanfare, no fear. He kept plugging on through marital issues, pregnancies, childbirths, teething of kids, mumps, zits, chicken pox, broken toys, scraped knees, and falling teeth. He continued keeping his head in his books and his feet on the ground.

Even his choice of a wife reflected his identity. He married a provincial girl with a small degree in marketing but with a large degree of ambitiousness and a strong desire to grow rich. Mike’s unassuming discipline and lack of flash fused well with her diligence and dedication to the business, which had grown quite large. Her skills and ambitious nature armed Mike with a spade to go about his business of being a monk and a mole at work. In a matter of years, his business grew into a humongous family-owned corporation.

In the early years, Mike would deliver his goods strapped behind a motorbike. Now his fleet of vans delivered his goods nationwide. Mike continued to wake up at the same hour, eat simple meals at the right time, put in the right amount of hours into work, and track his own performance and his own account books. He was still hands-on with the buying, storing, and selling. And he raked in, by the millions, the fruits of his labor.

One day in 2005, I met up with him by chance. He was being chauffeured in a large car that was gifted to him by his wife. He was traveling from one of his warehouses to his office. I was impressed by the fancy car, but I was way more impressed by the fact that he was still wearing a t-shirt I’d lent him in the late 80s when he didn’t even own a motorbike. I asked him if he was familiar with any of the new technological gizmos from Apple, and he responded, “No, mate, I like my fruits fresh, in the original form, and purchased from the “palengke. (wet market)”

a preface on pit bulls and entrepreneurs

from an entrepreneur who loves pit bulls

I am, and have been for the last eleven years, a proud and happy owner of a gigantic pit bull called Merlin. Merlin is now getting along in dog years without losing any of the spring in his stride. In his prime, he weighed a whopping 110 pounds of lean, sinewy muscle, and he was as strong as a buffalo. Leashed, he used to easily haul me and my bulky son for a daily jog. Today, he remains strong and still digs a fun brawl with my little kittens. He also loves peeing on poodles in the neighborhood.

I am also friend to Raju Mandhyan, whom I greatly admire as a professional speaker and a master storyteller—a modern day Scheherazade. He may not have the exotic looks of his ancient Arabic counterpart, but he possesses all her powers of enchantment and can easily mesmerize hordes of jaded cynics. During parties and other business events, I seek his company and want him to keep talking even though I’m always afraid he might start charging me a fee. After all, the man is a much sought-after inspirational speaker in the region.

So imagine my surprise when, one fine day, he calls me to inquire if I knew any owners of pit bulls or associations of pit bull owners because he was writing a book about them. The first thought that flashed through my mind was that the guy had probably lost it. Unlike Scheherazade, he must have run out of stories to share with his audiences and now had taken to scaring them out of their silly skins for a living. A moment later, after he mentioned the words resilience, persistence, and independence in relation to entrepreneurship, the brilliance and the creativity of the comparison struck me and I went, “I love it!”

I know for a fact and from experience that pit bulls are a tough and loving breed. But a few, misinformed, and sometimes malicious sections of the media have unjustly hyped up the negative aspects of the pit bull. Pit bulls are less vindictive and less nasty than all the thumb-sucking, putzy French poodles in the world. Pit bulls, whether small or big, carry within them the genes for the purpose which they had been originally bred—that is to work, to obey, to be responsible, and to love. They will do what their masters will have them do. If you see a ferocious and mean-minded pit bull, then you need to take a look at the human masters. And I assure you that you will find pits of mean-mindedness in them.

Pit bulls are genetically designed to have a singularity of purpose, yet their core is warm and affectionate. My pit bull, Merlin, has never nipped a human being on purpose. The notoriety in the media is undeserved. Given a chance, the pit bulls can easily redeem themselves.

Raju Mandhyan’s thesis is right and timely. Unlike the pit bulls, that breed of human beings called entrepreneurs has been graced and gifted to choose its own destiny. As it is for the pit bulls, it is innate in human beings to want to work, to create, to be responsible, and to love and nurture the communities we live in through effort and enterprise. This book shares the stories of their grit, their gumption, and of the value they add to business and society. If you are an entrepreneur-to-be, then this book will incite you to become a master of your own destiny. If you are already an established and successful entrepreneur, then this book will give you a pat on the back and stoke your passion all over again. In both cases, it will inspire you to leave your mark on the world.

Antonio “Tiny” Defensor, the Master Entrepreneur
with Merlin, the pit bull snoring at his feet

pit bulls & entrepreners; Identity Authenticates Intention

Identity: the distinguishing but consistent character or personality of an individual in constantly changing circumstances.

Identity is a mental model of one’s self. It relates to an individual’s self-image, self-esteem, and uniqueness. It contributes to how that individual views one’s self as a person and how he or she stands in relation to others around him. The more assured and accepting a person is of one’s own self-image, the more peaceful and stable one’s behavior and performance are in all aspects of life.

Actions:

The pit bull’s not so attractive appearance may induce hysteria. Yet it actually translates to practicality and economy. A pit bull requires minimal grooming and maintenance. Its nature and eating habits are simple and predictable. It has no fancy needs and doesn’t demand much attention like labradors, pomeranians, or poodles do. It is also reputed to be very hardworking and frugal, and it knows its position and purpose in life.

Just by being simple, rugged, and consistent, the pit bull can be very comforting company. His earthy nature lends an air of comfort and support to others around him and even provides a sense of therapy to those who need healing.

A few years ago, Cody, a pit bull puppy, was picked by members of the Even Chance Pit Bull Advocacy of San Diego when he was seen limping around an abandoned shelter. At the rescue veterinarian’s office, his chances didn’t look too good when he was diagnosed with a congenital deformity called ectrodactyly or “lobster claw.” Kind donors, through Even Chance, paid to have an orthopedic surgeon correct Cody’s paw. His two split toes were fused together with the surrounding skin, transforming his “lobster claw” to a “mitten.”

Cody was undergoing water therapy when his nature was discovered to be earthy, simple, and very loving. It was as if his past and pain had softened him rather than traumatized him. Soon, he was adopted by Barbara Sullier, a parent of one of the interns at the clinic.

Barbara described Cody as “a sweet, little, loving boy with a charisma that pulls people over to talk to him. He loves all people and wants to make them happy.” Cody still continued to limp due to missing bones and muscles in his right foreleg, but that hardly affected his style.

His personality and traits soon led him to be trained and certified, at age one, as a therapy dog by the Los Angeles based New Leash on Life’s “Lend a Paw” program. During “wheelchair tests,” Cody would reach up gently and kiss people with disabilities. Children with physical disabilities would easily relate to him and get their spirits boosted by his consistent kindness and even nature.

Through all prejudices and hardships against him, Cody never lost sight of his own, true image. He knew exactly who he was and what his purpose in life was.

"Reflections for an Entrepreneur," in the next issue.

Parenting: Happy, Healthy and Wise

I am not sure if I can be called a "good" father. That is for somebody else to judge and the ultimate results of my fathering behaviour and skills will only be known years later when the products of my parenting will become successful and happy individuals in their own lives. I may not know if I am good but I definitely know that I am not overstressed as a Dad. I have no issues with my three kids. Each one of them is different and I treat each one uniquely even as I love them equally and with the same passion. Here are some of things I do and say that keeps me cool and unstressed. I do all this knowing that even if I were the best Daddy ever my kids will, eventually, also be affected by the rest of the world and how they manage and process challenges and opportunities in their lives.

One: I many a times say “no” to their needs, demands or wants. I say this knowing that even as I am supposed to be the provider and the nurturer there is the rest of the world which helps provide and nurture them too. I carefully assess their requests and if it is fair and if I can easily provide without short-changing anybody and anything else then I go ahead and say a straight “no.” My kids have grown up with this and they take this well.

Two: I use a lot of humor to get valuable point across. I make fun of myself mostly and in between the setup and the punches I serve the medicine. For example, a son of mine does not clean up after himself. He forgets to flush, forgets to return things and forgets to put off lights, etc.; I have now made him in charge of the electricity, water and cleaning services. Now he cleans up after me.

Three: I make myself an example. Many years ago I used to smoke casually and one day my other son was caught taking a puff too many. I sat him down and I confessed to my own bad habit. Even though I used to smoke not his presence he somehow knew. I promised to stop and I did stop. He followed suit and has walked the line for over seven years now. Be the change you want to create said Ol’ man Gandhi did he not?

Four: I practice appreciation more than I practice criticizing. It’s an infallible truth that rewards bring better results than rebukes do. They say even a verbally abused cow produces less milk than a cow which is complimented and cooed by the farmer.

Five: In the event of failure I quickly and easily “let go.” I let go my kids when they make an unintentional or, even, an intentional mistake. I also “let go” myself when I don’t get the results I expect to get from kids and my interactions with them. Many years ago, I read a Sanskrit “Sloka” which when translated in Hindi meant that a parent shouldn’t blame himself when his kids don’t turn out well and neither should he take credit if they turn out to be good and successful. Our children said Gibran are not ours to own and possess but they are gifts to us and our job is to launch them as high and as far as we can.

When I easily and happily practice these habits I feel happy, healthy and wise and I am sure my kids, as they grow up, will also turn out to be happy, healthy and wise.

The Athenic Code for Public Speakers